Move over, wearing short shorts, having a big nose, and traversing a misty field, a new contender emerged vying for the superlative of being the absolute sluttiest thing a man can do – properly storing and returning a flat iron.

On Tuesday, June 20, Twitter user @arealglitterbae took to the platform with a truly mind-boggling tale of boys gone wild, recounting the flawless way she received her hair straightener after leaving it with a pal.

I left my hair straightener at my friends house and he, a straight man, returned it to me like this. He locked it and everything. I didn’t even know there was a lock on it. Hands down the sluttiest thing a man has ever done. pic.twitter.com/zpAd7eiJPO

— niamh (@arealglitterbae) June 20, 2023

“I left my hair straightener at my friend's house and he, a straight man, returned it to me like this,” she recalled, including a snap of the perfectly-wrapped hot tool.

The straightener was packaged so perfectly, in fact,  @arealglitterbae said she even learned a thing or two about her flat iron.

“He locked it and everything. I didn’t even know there was a lock on it,” she quipped, dubbing the flawless return as being “hands down the sluttiest thing a man has ever done.”

Also I cannot believe I am about to defend a man but the cable is fine, the part where the cable joins to the body is built at a right angle, it wasn’t pulled, the straightener has been through worse, I’ve had it for 8 years, it still works, let’s not argue over cables <3 pic.twitter.com/Vn2yWrUqev

— niamh (@arealglitterbae) June 21, 2023

There’s this little switch on the underside!! pic.twitter.com/1dU6jkyJf7

— niamh (@arealglitterbae) June 21, 2023

Yet it seems @arealglitterbae was far from alone in recognizing this momentous moment.

“Ran through,” quipped @FollowTheLaoide.

To paraphrase commenter @ylomii, this man could tie us up like that any day of the goddamn week.